


Alcohol - his steady friend

by Liketoreadgoodstories



Category: Adam Levine (Musician), Blake Shelton (Musician), Miranda Lambert (Musician), The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drinking, Multi, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liketoreadgoodstories/pseuds/Liketoreadgoodstories
Summary: Blake struggles, for years but it was never that obvious. How alcohol was his friend through parts of his life. What does it take to make him stop and who will be there to help him?Addiction developmentSupport from friendsTrue happenings included plus fictional stuff
Relationships: Adam Levine/Blake Shelton, Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani, Miranda Lambert/Blake Shelton
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's a fanfiction so fictional storylines are included. But most of the stuff I'll write about are things that really happened. Only thing is, to make more sense in the story I want to tell, some things happen in different years than they actually occurred. 
> 
> This is my first fanfiction ever and English isn't my first language, so have mercy with me but feel free to comment and make suggestions or give critics.
> 
> Have fun reading :)

CHAPTER 1:

He was 14. A country boy through and through. Living with his mother, step-dad and his older siblings Richie and Endy wasn't always easy. But they were a strong little family. And his relationship to his siblings was as close as it gets. His sister taught him how to be a gentleman and how to treat girls the right way - she was the first person that told him it was okay to cry, because being emotional isn't a vulnerability, it's a strength and a sign of bravery. And his brother Richie was his hero. Once he's grown up, he wants to be just like him. He listens to all the records and artists CD's his brother keeps and he looks up to how good of a family person he is, he not only takes care of his girlfriend but also her baby son, that's not even his own.

However, one morning the family was ripped out their dreams and they weren't aware of just how much they had to prove that bond between their little family to themselves. At two in the morning two police officers rang the bell on their house in Ada, Oklahoma and told them that Richie was involved in a fatal car crash and together with his girlfirends' son had died instantly. 

The following weeks were rough. Blake would hide in his brother's old room for an entire day, didn't talk to anyone and was strumming the same melody on his guitar or just staring at the walls asking himself what to do without the most important person in his life. Once school was supposed to start again, he began missing classes and spent entire days in a row at his brother's grave instead. Not sure how to live with this tragedy, he started looking up to his step-dad, the man next to his mother's side for almost a decade, who was closer to a father than his actual one. Over the years he was the man that taught Richie hunting, fishing and on his 21st birthday went out to a bar with him, drinking. Those two had a very special bond. Blake always hoped that Richie as his older brother would teach him all the things once he was old enough. 

He noticed that his step-dad tried to avoid conversations with his mother and when someone mentioned Richies name his walls came up and he "had to go out for a walk to clear his head". However, Blake couldn't sleep at night because he always had nightmares and as the days went on he noticed that when his dad returned from his "walks", he was completely wasted and his mother always said she was glad the kids couldn't see him like this. But Blake also noticed that as soon the man came back it seemed like he really forgot about all the problems he had just hours ago before leaving the house. And Blake wanted just that - just for one day, not to think about his brother or have a nightmare in what he saw his brother's bloody body lying lifeless in that car wreck. 

So the next day, before visiting his brothers grave, he went to the supermarket. He was underage so he stole and put two bottles of Vodka in his backpack next to the papers he needed for "school". To not look suspicious he bought two packs of gum and a deo spray (so his mother wouldn't smell the liquor on him when he returned home). He spent the whole day sitting inforont of Richies gravestone drinking Vodka and telling his late brother how much he meant to him and that he is and will be missed in the future. Blake didn't really eat much these days so by the time he finished one of the bottles he couldn't stand steady. He was swaying and he felt like he would throw up at any time but besides that he was happy for the first time in weeks, because when he told his brother all those storys that came into his intoxicated mind he had to laugh for most of the time. They were happy memories. He was happy because he felt numb. Maybe alcohol wasn't so bad after all...

When a just-turned-15 year old Blake stumbled into the family home at 4pm his mother was outrageous. He got detention and was banned from family dinner. Instead of passing out in his own room, Blake lay down on the bed in Richies room and slept for a couple of hours. At 11pm before going to bed, his mother went looking for him, but couldn't find him in any of the children's rooms, when she hears a noise from the bathroom. When she entered she found her youngest crawled over the toilet, sweating and puking. 

"Hey baby, do you want an advil and some water, you'll feel better." He nodded.  
She left and not short after that she reentered with a glass of water and two pills against his headache. 

"Here baby, take those" she bent over and sat down on the ground next to her son. She put her arms around him and cradeled his back with her hand. She knew what he was going through and although drinking, with 15 and, probably not for the first time, skipping school was nothing she was particularly fond of, she decided to not be too hard with him. 

"You okay now, baby? Oh come here you're shivering." 

"I'm sorry, mum" is all that came to his mind. And for the first time since his brothers death he started crying. 

"I know, I know. Hey, it's okay, I'm not mad, do you hear me? It's alright." 

"No it's not. You miss him, too. But instead of grieving you have to take care of me. I'm sorry, mum. It's just... I... I miss him so much, I don't know what to do without him." 

"We are all hurting right know, baby. And it's okay to make bold choices because of it. The important thing is that we learn from them. As long as we remember him, he is not gone Blake, we have all our own memories with him in here *points to her heart*. He's still one of my babies and he is still your older brother, looking down on you from above."

"When he's looking down now, he'll be embarrassed. But I want to make him proud." 

"Don't say that. He would never be embarrassed of you. He was proud. That you learned from him and that you're growing into an honorable man. Maybe what you did today was not very thoughtful but you're still growing and learning" 

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" 

"Of course, what is it?" 

"I mean I am obviously not fine right now, but do you think it's bad that I was happy today? When I was sitting by his grave, I started feeling numb and for the first time I lost all the worries that I had since he's gone. When I was that drunk I was actually happy, and I missed that." Now his mother started crying, too. 

"Baby it's okay to feel happy. He would want you to be. And never let someone else tell you how you have to feel, if you're happy - be happy. But we have to try to feel that way after time passes. And not after we went out day-drinking. That is not healthy and it will only add other problems. Come on, you have to rest now, tomorrow is going to be a hell of a day for you."

Although deep down he knew that his mother was right and Richie wouldn't be too proud about this, that day was the first day in Blake's life, to realise that you indeed CAN solve problems with alcohol. He hadn't touched that stuff for years, til his 19th Birthday to be exact, but it was good to know that whenever he would feel down or depressed in the future, he could just crouch into that safe harbour that is a bottle of liquor. Because it actually helps - maybe just for the very moment, but that is what he wants, what he is looking for, what he needs. To feel nothing and be free for the moment. 

Blake was never a very good student, but he was a talented guitarist and he had a very nice voice. He loved country music, and because of the influence of his brothers taste in music he decided that he wanted to become a country singer. When he was 18 he moved to Nashville with his girlfriend kaynette from high school, and tried to convince a label to sign him. Meanwhile he was roofing houses to earn money to pay for their little rental apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

He did it. After 5 years he actually found a music label in Nashville that wanted to work with him. 

Blake wasn't really a songwriter himself, he loved it once he got involved in one, but he wanted the pro's to do their work. He had no experiences and had no real inspirations for songs. After over a year worth of work he finished recording the songs that are going to be on his first ever studio album. He and everyone involved was proud. And they had every right to be. 

Already with the first song he released he had a lot of success. His song "Austin" was played all over the country radio and soon important people in the business payed attention when they heard his songs or someone dropped his name in conversations at partys. Within his first two albums he had a couple of smashing hits and fan favorite songs people wanted radio stations all over the country to play, like "The Baby, Some Beach or Ol' Red". He was very successful and had lots of reasons to be happy and attend party's that were dedicated to him. 

He already made a name for himself. And he also made an image for himself. The newcomer with good music, that drinks and swears like a real cowboy. And with his mullet, those dimples and the ocean blue eyes he was also very popular with the women in the crowd. Not many knew he was already married to his high school sweetheart, so newspapers often tried to link him with fellow women country singers or accused him of having a weakness for beautiful groupies. 

No matter how famous he already was or how famous he would become, the most important thing for Blake was to share his music with his fans. It wouldn't matter to him whether he would play in front of 30 or 3000 or 30.000 people. The interaction with the crowd was the best part and it was even more fun when people knew his songs almost as good as he did himself. For that matter he asked his manager to get him as many Gigs in Bars as possible aside from his tour. In bars were small crowds but that would also mean a great atmosphere and free alcohol. A party night after his taste.

After almost every song someone would give him a beer or a shot of Vodka or tequila up the stage and he would gladly take it. Because it was also part of the act he put on on stage. No matter how big or small that stage was. People expected him to sing, rock and especially drink on stage. And he was fine with it. Because he enjoyed it and people who gave him sceptical glances about his alcohol intake could kiss his ass.

Kaynette always told him this rapid rise to country stardome had changed him. She was always complaining that he was gone most of the time and they wouldn't see each other as often. She complained about his drinking habits, but the worst thing for him was that she started to believe the nonsense that the media wrote about his nights with other woman. Because if there was to name one character trait that he was proud of about himself - it was his honesty. No matter who he was talking to, he always stayed true to himself and to who he was and he was always honest about everything. They started to fight more frequently and every fight got more intense.  
Though they never dared to say or think about the "d-word", their marriage was on the rocks, what made Blake drink his sorrows away even more often than he already went out partying. 

In the last 3 months there was not one day he completed absolutely sober. Looking back he was very lucky that big headlines on the internet weren't a thing yet - cause he'd have been all over them. 

In spring 2005 they asked him to perform a duet with another female artist at some award show he got invited to. Miranda Lambert, man he heard of her, she was a big deal, like really big, why would they want him to perform with her. And why would he go to that damn award show anyway, kaynette and him were fighting once again and he sure as hell won't go alone, that would be depressing. On the other hand he really wanted to perform. It would be the first real TV performance he would do, with a beautiful woman with the voice of an angel by his side. This had to be good. So without talking to his wife first, he accepted. And he was scheduled to be part of the show as a nominee aswell. 

The only negative point - Kaynette was planning a little vacation since she knew he was done touring by then. She wanted to surprise him with a 5 day wellness trip... Wow, that woman knew him well... Not. What the hell was he supposed to do at a wellness hotel anyway. The highlight of his year was always going back to Oklahoma, visiting his family, going hunting and fishing on Lake Texoma with his step-dad, get forced fed by his mother and getting to see his sister's children. His wife got mad and accused him once again of not ever having time for her. She was mad and decided to go on vacation alone. She left the day before the show. 

Although he had lived in Nashville for about 10 years now, he didn't really know anyone besides the producers and songwriters he normally surrounded himself with. He was alone tonight, but had no one to call and ask to hang out with him. He hated the feeling of being alone, it reminded him of the time after his brothers death and it felt like everyone that was important to him just leaves.  
So he has a drink, and then a few. No need to count, he won't remember anyway. 

He got out of the house after an hour and set foot into the nearest bar. He was a local royalty so obviously people knew who he was. Usually celebrities try to avoid attention of any kind, especially when drunk, but Blake had always been a bit headless in his actions. He always still felt like just a guy from Oklahoma and seemed to forget that some people actually earned their money by writing or creating newspaper articles about him. And they do get bonuses when there are pictures... And boy did the customers of that bar get pictures of a very drunk Blake Shelton swaying on top of a table that night. When he was drunk he seemed to forget everything else around him. And once again the newspapers had a great story for the next day.

PARTY BLAKE

WELL THAT LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE WAS HAVING A LOT OF FUN LAST NIGHT IN A LOCAL BAR IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE.  
TURN TO PAGE 6 TO SEE PICTURES OF HOW CASANOVA BLAKE SHELTON APPARENTLY PREPARED FOR HIS BIG PERFORMANCE NEXT TO COUNTRY QUEEN MIRANDA LAMBERT AT THE AWARD TONIGHT.

NOT ONLY DID IT LOOK LIKE HE MAY HAVE HAD A FEW TOO MANY, ALSO THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THIS MONTH HE WAS SPOTTED DRINKING AND PARTYING WITHOUT HIS WIFE KAYNETTE SHELTON. IS THERE TROUBLE IN PARADISE? LADIES, MAYBE THERE WILL BE A CHANCE FOR ONE OF YOU TO CURE THE BROKEN HEART OF COUNTRY SWEETHEART BLAKE IN THE FUTURE.

WE WILL LOOK INTO THIS AND KEEP YOU UP TO DATE.

LET'S JUST HOPE THAT IF BLAKE SHOULD WIN IN HIS CATEGORY TONIGHT, THE AFTERSHOW PARTY WON'T GET OUT OF HAND LIKE HIS LATEST STROLL. HE LITERALLY TAKES DRINKING TO ANOTHER LEVEL. 

That was the article Blake's pounding head had woken up to this morning. Damn now his stupidity had let the media folks to suspect that kaynette and him weren't on the best of terms lately... She won't be happy about that. But no time to think about that now. He had a plane to catch to fly to Las Vegas. 

He landed a couple of hours later and made himself a home in his hotel room. He changed into his wardrobe for the show, which wasn't that different from what he was usually wearing and minutes after he was done, his driver was ready to drive him to the event. After a 15 minute drive the driver parked the car. Reporters were already outside interviewing country music stars all over the red carpet and photographers taking pictures of all the cowboys and - girls.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3:

He was about to enter the stage. After he successfully avoided any weird questions on the red carpet and slipped through the entrance, he got backstage. He had been watching the shows opening from there. The music to his duet with Miranda started playing. He entered from the left and after his first solo she was entering the stage from the other side so they were walking up to each other. She looked gorgeous. Why had today to be one of the few days he was wearing a cowboy hat... He saw himself as a country singer but he hated wearing these damn hats. And now he was wearing one in front of the probably most attractive person in the whole theater - with whom he happened to share the stage with. 

During their entire performance their eyes were locked and none of them dared to look to the crowd or any other way for even a second. It probably looked like some rehearsed choreography but in reality this was the first time they were actually singing the song together because they weren't able to catch a day where the both of them were free. It was a risk, but considering how great it was going, it was one worth taking. He actually thought it was better that way because he wouldn't have been able to go through with that intensity for a second time. He definetly needs a drink after this... 

After their performance the crowd, consistent out of other country superstars, was erupting. The two performers hugged each other, left the stage and went to their rooms backstage. Both of them were nominees for upcoming categories and were getting ready for returning to their seats. Thoughts about how beautiful Miranda looked and sang still in his head. He was sure she could feel something, too when he went outside for a quick smoke and a drink. 

As the night continued both him and Miranda lost in their category and the aftershowparty had begun. Blake talked to a few other singers but soon enough found himself alone in one of the corners of the room again. He got up to the bar and ordered a drink, when he realized that Miranda sat down next to him. He bought her a drink aswell and they started talking about their night at the show. When the conversation got to their own performance he suddenly felt nervous talking to her, but couldn't stop himself from looking (or staring) into her eyes. Loud music started playing and they decided to go outside to be alone. Once they stepped outside he could feel her lips on his. She noticed he smelled like booze, cigarettes and lust. He knew it was a mistake but he didn't stop her, instead he deepened the kiss. After a minute they put their foreheads together and looked in each other's eyes.

"Look, Miranda you're the most beautiful woman. And I really want to... But I can't do this. Not yet at least. I'm married... And no matter how bad it's going, I won't cheat on her. She didn't deserve that."

"Blake, I understand. It's probably weird to say that after such a short time but I definetly have a crush on you, big country boy." He hugged her and held her close for some time.

"Are you happy... I mean are you and your wife happy?"

"I... We... Have been. Not lately though. I think it's just not working when you live next to each other in two different worlds instead of together in one. I mean just look around... Do you see her somewhere?"

"No. So you say you're not happy now... Then why can't we do this?"

"It just wouldn't be fair. Because there was a time when I really did love her. Even if I don't feel the same way anymore, I know I did one day and I can't hurt her by breaking her trust in me. She already accuses me of sleeping around. I don't want to give her the satisfaction to be right about it. That... That's not who I am."

"Does that mean we won't see each other again? Because if that is what you're saying..." he stopped her arguing by kissing her on the lips. 

"I'll get a divorce. We have been unhappy and fighting for the last 2 years. We never talked about it but she won't be surprised. But we have to wait, sweetie. Just wait for me."

"I will." 

They exchanged their phone numbers and spent the rest of the night talking and a little bit cuddling in her hotel room. 

As soon as Blake got back to Oklahoma he talked to his wife when she returned from her vacation. She couldn't deny that there were problems in their marriage and honestly she wasn't shocked that he wanted to rush things and get a divorce.   
After their split Kaynette got back to Oklahoma and rented an apartment in Tulsa.   
He never really heard from her again after that and before the divorce got public Blake told his family and friends. 

2010 _____________________________________

Miranda and Blake have been an item for almost five years now. They had become the King and Queen of Country music and were the power couple in the country music industry. Even people outside the country world knew about their love. On top of that both of their careers got even better and they have won tons of awards. They sang songs together on their concerts and they were known to know how to have a good time. The tabloids always had a great pleasure to write about them. 

THE ROYALTIES OF COUNTRY: IS THE RELATIONSHIP OVER AFTER 5 YEARS? 

MIRANDA AND BLAKE STRONGER THAN EVER. READ TO LEARN ABOUT THE 5 MOST ROMANTIC THINGS THOSE TWO LOVEBIRDS HAVE DONE FOR THE OTHER

ANOTHER NIGHT OUT - ANOTHER CHANCE FOR US TO GET EXCLUSIVE PICTURES FROM THEIR LATEST PARTYNIGHT 

EXCLUSIVE! 5 YEARS AFTER THE SPLIT WE FINALLY KNOW THE REASON FOR BLAKE'S DIVORCE! CHEATING AND DRINKING WERE A FACTOR

NEW SONG ON THE WAY. IS IT REALLY LOVE OR DOES HE USE HER FAME? 

WHEN IS HE GOING TO PROPOSE 

MIRANDA KICKS HIM OUT THE HOUSE AFTER ANOTHER ONE OF HIS ENCOUNTERS WITH A GROUPIE

Those were just a few of the headlines published since they confirmed their relationship. They didn't take those seriously because they knew how it was really going. And they were working out perfectly. 

Last week though was the anniversary of his brother's death and that day he was always very quiet and wasn't up to do much. She understood, more than Kaynette and he appreciated that Miranda didn't say anything for 5 years when he was drinking his brains out that day. This year though his manager forgot and booked a gigantic concert for Blake. He didn't want to go and he felt down when that day had finally come but he didn't want to disappoint his fans. That guilty conscience didn't stop him from drinking though. He was drinking in the car when his driver picked him up and drove him to the soundcheck. He drank two beers after the soundcheck and two shots of Vodka with his band and crew just before the show started. 

He wasn't that concentrated and it wasn't his best performance but considering the circumstances he was doing just fine. His 4th song that evening was "home". Thinking about what he would give to be at home in Oklahoma right know and visiting his brothers grave, he started crying, a few tears fell down his face and he feared he wouldn't be able to finish the song. Just when he wanted to ask his band to stop playing he heard Miranda's voice completing the song and once she stood in front of him he was overwhelmed. He sat down on a box on stage and Miranda stood next to him and took his head to her belly. When the song finished she sat down on his lap and kissed him dearly. She pulled a hand through his hair and wiped the tears from his eyes while smiling to him. His eyes were glassy and bloodshot from crying so much, well and in the "water bottle" next to his mic stand most definitely wasn't water, she could tell from his breath.   
She supported him for the rest of the night and they sang his songs as duets, like on their evenings at home, when he would sing lovesongs to her and she would join him.

That was the day Blake realised she meant everything to him, because she loved him in his bad times just as much, if not more, than in his good times. It was about time to put a ring on it.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4:

They were both country stars and always on the road, so he knew how much she cherished her time at his ranch in Oklahoma. Because of that he decided to propose to her here. It's where she always felt the most at home. Even more than at her "real home" in Nashville.

It was 9am and Mirandas plane was supposed to land at 10pm tonight. He already had the ring and had a vision of how to ask her. He'd cook a fancy dinner buy some fine whiskey, put candles and a few Polaroids of them in the living room and put the beds matrasses outside so they could watch the stars in the evening. He wanted to recreate the first night they ever spent at his ranch together. He'd buy flowers and put romantic music on the speakers in his home. It was a plan, now he had about 10 hours before he had to go pick her up from the airport. 

For the following month he felt like in heaven. Miranda had said yes that night and they were going to marry in May in the most country way. 

He booked a spot as a coach on a new TV show called "The Voice" in LA where he would have the opportunity to represent country music and at the same time help artists to develop and create a career in the music industry for themselves. He would do that next to three of the biggest names in music. He knew he was an extraordinary choice to be a coach, 70% of the people involved probably don't even know who he was, but he gladly took the opportunity when he got the offer. They may don't know him but he sure as hell knew who Cee lo Green, Christina Aguilera and Adam Levine are! 

And he was co-hosting the 2011 cma awards next to Reba, the country icon number 1. Things couldn't be better.

Before celebrating Easter at home with a dinner at Mirandas parents house, they got an invitation to a voice celebration party from Adam levine. So they decided to book a flight from LA to Nashville one day in delay than planned and attend Adam's party the evening before. Miranda didn't know anyone but soon got into nice conversations with Christina and Adam's (current) girlfriend. 

Adam and Blake had really kicked it off the best at the set of the voice. They had become very good friends in a short amount of time. Besides coming from different worlds, city and country colliding, their characters matched each other perfectly. Their mutual passion for music, even each other's music aside from the fact they are not interested in other artists music from that genre, made it easy to bond and talk for hours without noticing. And while Adam seems as the obvious choice to be called a rock star, Blake is really the one who's life is more like that. Okay, both of them smoke but he is the heavier drinker, his concerts are (from Adam's pov SURPRISINGLY) just as crowded as Maroon 5s, he has millions of Twitter followers laughing about his ironic tweets every other day and he is way more often in the tabloids than the younger man. 

He knows how careful and healthy Adam treats his body and teases him to at least let loose at his own damn party for once. Blake is like the charming guy who could sell a person ice cubes while at the northpole so it didn't take long for the two man to knock a few back and after about 2 hours be slightly intoxicated. When they went looking for their girlfriend and fiancée and actually found them already talking to each other they grabbed a few more drinks and joined the conversation. Adam noticed that when his friend wanted to kiss his soon to be wife she was a little annoyed by how much he swayed in front of her and already smelled like a destillery and ashtray in one. 

After about 20 minutes talking and getting to know each other the two men decided to go talk to Carson and Cee lo. When Adam didn't notice, Miranda pulled Blake by side and told him to cut back because they had a plane to catch early in the morning and she didn't want him sitting at her parents house completely hungover. That's why she told him they had to leave at 1am tops. Although he nodded, Miranda wasn't that convinced that his intoxicated mind understood the message. 

The four men talked for a while when Carson announced he had to head back to his wife and leave already because they will go on vacation the next day. Cee lo said another friend of his was hosting a party as well across town and he promised to pay a visit there, too, so Adam and Blake where alone again when the Maroon 5 lead singer had an idea. He told Blake that Miranda probably won't like it, but Blake said it's okay, she was already pissed at him and she won't change her mood until the next day. The guys got outside the house and vanished to the backyard for half an hour to smoke a joint - something Blake actually never did when he was alone on tour, but slightly enjoyed doing with his buddy. 

Okay now Miranda was really pissed and angry at Blake. Why was it he could never control himself at party's even when he knew he had obligations the next day. And where is he anyway. They said they'd stay til 1am tops and now it's already 1:20... That's when she spotted him next to Adam reentering the house... With yet another drink in his hands. She had only had 2 alcoholic drinks the entire evening so she could drive them home now. She approached him to get him into the car when she smelled the scent of weed that was lingering like a cloud around the two men. 

While Adam had cut back the drinks because he wasn't that big of a drinker anyway, he brought Blake a new one whenever he wanted one, so the taller man was not able to stay steady on his feet anymore. Especially now with the alcohol mixed with Marijuana. Blake was high and hammered and well, that didn't lighten up Miranda's mood. 

Blake stumbled upon his fiancee and put an arm around her. If they were going to the car now, he could really use that shoulder to not fall over while walking. Adam helped Miranda to carry the 6'5 tall, drunk and high giant to the car and get him seated inside. Even at a private Adam Levine party though they weren't free from paparazzi, who happily captured every not so subtle step Blake took. 

What is there left to say about that - and the following day? Miranda was not in a good mood and even the Easter dinner with her parents couldn't change that. They had the first bigger fight before their wedding, because Miranda felt that visiting her parents for a holiday wasn't important enough to Blake to behave civilized or stay sober enough at a party to act like an adult the next day. And although he wasn't really fond of visiting her parents, he knew it was not fair to behave this way, because if they had been visiting his parents, Miranda would have been excited or at least acted as if. 

Besides yet another magazine had published an article about him having an alcohol problem... 

"BLAKE NEEDS MIRANDA MORE THAN EVER TO GET THE DRINKING UNDER CONTROL, FAMILY AND FRIENDS ONCE AGAIN WORRIED AFTER YESTERDAY'S ESCAPADES". 

And even if neither him nor Miranda or any of their friends would call it one, it didn't help matters to be a hungover shell of a man at the kitchen table of your future wife's parents, who also happened to have read that article. 

He apologized to her. And to show her how much she meant to him he hadn't had a sip of alcohol until the day of their wedding, he dedicated his new song "God gave me you" to her where she was also part of the music video with a clip filmed just hours before their wedding ceremony. In addition they adopted a dog together that they found hurt and lonely on a street close to his Oklahoma ranch. 

On May 18th 2011 they tied the knot on a farm in Texas. Miranda was wearing her mother's wedding dress and Blake wore jeans and a formal Grey toxido jacket. Again their high profile relationship / marriage was all over the news again. But for the first time in years in a good way.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5:

October 2012 __________________________

The first one and a half years of their marriage had been a Rollercoaster. On the one hand they have been head over heals in love, the cma awards earlier this year were literally just their own award show and he won the last two seasons of the Voice with good chances winning a 3rd time in a row this season. 

On the other hand the tabloids didn't stop writing stories about infidelity of one of them, or him hitting rock bottom due to his struggles with alcohol. That had led to problems between Blake and his parents in law.   
And right now Miranda was supporting him at one of his hardest tasks in life yet. 

At the last anniversary of Richies death Blake's father encouraged him to write a song for and about his brother to remember him by. Four days ago though, during the writing process of that personal song, his father sadly had passed away aswell. 

Blake had been a wreck this last week, crying and drinking a lot, contacting his mother and sister while doing either of the activities above. He called in sick to the latest voice show taping and stopped continuing the writing process on "Over you". Miranda tried everything within her power to be the steady rock by his side that he needed. She talked to Adam a lot about Blake, continued writing on the song, that was now not only his but theirs, she gave him a shoulder to cry on and after the seventh day whenever he tried to drown his feelings in liquor, she stopped him and made him talk about his feelings and thoughts instead. 

When she saw him like that she started to wonder though... In her wedding vows she promised to right now and in the future to always be there for him. And she will be, but maybe the tabloids weren't all that wrong. Within their marriage and earlier relationship were quite a few phases when he used alcohol as an outlet or coping mechanism, one that isn't healthy. She drank at times, too don't take it wrong but he had kind of dark tendencies and enjoyed the feeling of numbness way too much for her taste. And she wondered if one day her comfort and support towards him won't be enough anymore. When life isn't going too well for him, would he destroy himself and a possible family of theirs by trying to drink away his demons? Up until now he had only stopped drinking when she got upset with him about it or because she asked him to. Otherwise he wouldn't have spent one month sober during their last 7 years together. Because using his own words "it's always 5pm somewhere". People were always laughing it up about Blakes words or his "drunken" tweets - only she knew that during the majority of those he actually was. 

She began to honestly worry and it felt like he began to notice. She got that impression when he confessed to her that because his first wife started to believe the tabloids, his marriage fell apart in the first place and he would hate to see it happen again. 

They finished writing the song together that was now not only a tribute to his late brother but also to his dad. But Blake admitted that he didn't want to record it himself because he couldn't go through with singing that song every night at his concerts. He would be too overwhelmed with his emotions. 

So he gave it to Miranda and with it she won the song of the year award 2013. At the acceptance speech where both got up on stage because of their writing credits, Blake talked about the story behind the song and she couldn't hide the tears for her husband's emotional words anymore. She started crying for his inner pain. That's when everyone witnessed their deep connection and love for each other. 

Meanwhile at the Voice everyone was talking about his "bromance" with Adam Levine. They were frenemies from day one, everyone loved watching their interactions to convince an artist to join their team. 

They have spent enormous amounts of time at each other's houses and attent almost every party or promo interview for the show together. Adam would tease him about his lack of knowledge in pop and hip hop music, his denim jackets and his drunken "I-don't-know-what's-going-on-here" moments during the show (and also in private) . By now everyone got to now that even though it's a sturbucks cup in his seat, it is most definitely not filled with coffee. The Voice host and Blake's friend Carson let that slip in an interview once. It's already a running gag between Adam and Carson to make fun of that. Blake on the other hand would make fun of Adam's clothes and hairstyle and his whining tactics to get singers on his team. He would call him silly nicknames and laugh about him when yet another country artist choose not to join Adam's team although he really wanted to steal one from Blake. But behind the scenes they have already become best friends. 

For New Years Eve 2013/2014 the two of them were scheduled to perform on Carsons NYE TV special together. Miranda was pretty mad at him for accepting because she would have preferred to celebrate the new year with her husband in Oklahoma together with their families considering his tapings for the voice were over and his tour ended 2 weeks ago. 

When she found out he wound still be in LA that night she decided to spend the night of New year alone at her partens' house. They have been fighting because of this for a few days now and with every day the arguments got more intense. 

On December 31st at 9pm, two hours before their performance, Adam got a video call from Blake. He was yelling but Adam couldn't understand a word because he could see Blake was sitting in a crowded bar - not even trying to hide from the paparazzi - and he soon realized he had to pick him up as fast as possible because otherwise their performance on national television later that evening will be catastrophic.  
When he entered the bar he spotted Blake smoking a cigarette in the back while nursing a drink.

"Hey man what happened to you, you forgot we gotta perform later?"

"Ahh I'm sorry, but I don't care about that stupid bullcrap. You know, she's right. My place is supposed to be on the couch next to my beautiful wife or opposite from her at a table in a nice restaurant or something instead of on a stage in the middle of LA." 

Adam didn't need to convince Blake to come with him, because after he finished that sentence, he put money on the table got up and after taking another drag from his cigarette he said  
"All right let's go and do that shit"

"Wow man, honestly I thought I had to drag your drunken ass outta here when I saw your face on my phone screen. But you're not even slurring your words or swaying while walking. I'm impressed."

"Ha I'm no lightweight as you are. I can handle my liquor if I want to. Besides if I showed up drunk off my ass on that stage I would have embaressed you and Carson. I would never do that to you buddy... Doesn't mean I won't be wasted in a couple hours though." 

"You should call or FaceTime Miranda after our performance first, you know. Before getting wasted. You know how much she hates it when you call her in that state. Now let's get out of here."

"yeah, whatever. I screwed this up. Don't get me wrong, I love you man but my place tonight should have been by her side." 

Adam could tell his friend didn't listen to his words about calling Miranda, but Blake had always done what he thought was right, so repeating his words wouldn't change anything. 

Their performance was awasome. People loved them and the songs they got to listen to. Carson, Adam and Blake chatted a little on stage. About New Year resolutions, the next season of the voice and they started to count down the seconds to the New Year. 

"... 5,4,3,2,1 Happy New Year" The three men and the crowd shouted. 

After the show ended Blake and Adam went back to Adam's trailer.   
"so what are we doing now? Wanna come back to my house. You can call Ran from there?"


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6:

He wasn't sure. Miranda was pissed at him, and she had every right to be. Hearing his voice probably isn't one of the things she wants right now. Blake made himself a drink, got a pack of cigarettes out of his pants, took one and lit it up. 

"Want one, too?"

"Nah thanks man, just had one before the show and before I picked you up from that bar. I know you don't have any but my New Years resolution is to cut down on that."

"Bullcrap. I couldn't do that" he said while taking two deep drags. 

"Sure you could, you just don't wanna try, captain country."

"That's not it. I got so many, I couldn't decide on which one to kick."

"So many what?"

"Bad habits, idiot."

"You know what, you're right. There are a few things. But I got an idea for one you should kick. Stop feeling sorry for yourself about fighting with your wife. Be a man and call her. If she can't start her new year with you she probably would love to at least hear your voice or see your face. Grow some balls and kick the wallowing in self-pity."

Blake downed his drink in one swallow and ran out of the trailer. He didn't even turn around and just slammed the door shut.

"Yep, nice talking to you, too, man. " Adam said to himself and got ready to drive home.

The next day he got a text from... Miranda?!

'Thank you'

'For what?'

'My New Years miracle. He flew to my parents house earlier today - figured you had something to do with it :3'

'Actually I didn't. Guess there is at least a little sanity in the head of that cowboy of yours'

After Blake flew to Miranda and her parents that evening and spent a day with her at their place, they got back to Oklahoma. They both have 2 months off. They celebrated Blake's mothers birthday on his ranch, wrote a couple songs together and spent a lot of time hunting and fishing together. And of course they have been intimite with each other more frequently than before, due to the larger time frame they got to spend. Together they babysat Blake's sisters children one evening and after she had picked them up the next morning, for the first time since their wedding they talked about a future family. 

Well Blake did. He loved spending time with his nephews, had always been good with kids and was at an age (36 soon turning 37) where he had to fulfill that wish. Miranda on the other hand had her doubts and told him she wanted to wait a little longer. Secretly she doubted their ability as parents with him being not the most stable and secure environment for a child and her constantly being on tour. But she didn't tell him that, feared it would hurt him. So she just said

"One day. Just let us wait a little longer. Let's focus on our careers first as long as we are at the top." 

He accepted her plea but wasn't too happy about it.   
During the entire year the discussion about finally starting a family together came up and with every argument over that topic Blake got more frustrated because he could see Miranda and him weren't on the same page about it. He would talk about it with Adam and ask him about his opinion and sometimes just asked for an ear to listen. 

The pair had been having so many differences about that topic that suddenly intimacy started to become a more and more rare occasion. Up to the point to when they haven't seen each other for a longer time, Miranda didn't even kiss or hug him as a "welcome back" anymore. They could see their marriage fall apart every day in front of their eyes. They didn't call each other anymore when both of them were on tour and only for official interactions or red carpet appearances they got together and put on their "happy masks". They have been THE couple for the last 9 years in the business and therefore tried to hold onto that facade that was left of their marriage. 

It didn't help that, when magazines picked up on the decreasing moments they had together, they started writing articles about only a pregnancy beeing able to save their failing marriage, storys about big fights and even reports about one of them filing for divorce. And as much as he hated to admit it, deep down he knew that if nothing changes not long from now that's where they're heading to. 

Due to the fact of Adam becoming a father of Behati Prinsloo's baby in the near future, the questions for Blake about starting his own family with Miranda increased during The Voice promo interviews. Adam knew how much his friend was hurting over those but couldn't do much to help his friend out of this misery. Only Adam knew about his heated situation with his wife and every time he heard someone ask Blake a question like that his heart broke for him. 

Blake was always clever enough to find a way to answer them by talking around the topic. But every single time after one of the reporters had asked such a question Blake later that night showed up drunk at Adam and Behati's house. Adam was worried sick about his friend. Blake was trapped in a marriage he was unhappy with for almost 10 months now but still had to look happy with his wife whenever there was a camera in sight. 

Blake wasn't good at handling that. He was never good at handling with his problems but for this one he used all his bad coping mechanisms to the fullest. Often he drove to Adam's house intoxicated and already twice he got arrested for drunk driving, but with Adam's help the police officers let the DUI charges go. 

Today was the worst of all times though. Earlier that day the season 7 coaches were guests at the Ellen shows season 12 November premiere. And Ellen had asked Blake that question in front of millions of people. He could handle the newspapers or radio reporters but he wasn't well prepared for Ellen asking him about it on national television. He felt like she exposed him and his crumbling marriage right in front of everybody's eyes. And for the first time ever he spoke the bitter truth. 

"Hey Blake, can we expect little ones in your future soon, too? You could ask Gwen for help she just had her third." 

After a long pause he finally said 

"Ehhmm... No" and his heart broke with finally hearing himself say those words out loud. 

Luckily he got to drink some of his heartbreak right away with two shots, without anyone judging him because it was part of one of Ellen's games. But soon enough he was craving for more. After the show the four stars got outside. Blake and Adam first smoked a cigarette together and after that all 4 coaches talked to waiting fans outside. Soon Blake was the first to leave what was very unusual because he always had something to say or a joke to tell. Even Pharrell and Gwen noticed the sudden mood change in their coworker. He seemed angry, sad and depressed. Ways they have never seen him in before. 

Blake got to his car and drove off. He didn't know where to go but soon found himself at the same bar he had been drinking his sorrows away for the last months. He paid the bartender to make sure that whenever his drink was emptying he would get a new one coming without having to ask for it or getting sceptical looks. He wanted to forget today and he was planning to get that numb feeling by drinking till he passed out. 

He sat on a stool at the bar and started off his night with 6 shots of tequila. After that he also had 4 Vodka sodas over a total of 30 minutes, two bottles of beer and two Bacardis. He was starting to sway while sitting and had to concentrate very hard to not just fall off the bar stool. 

When a stranger came up to him and asked him to play one of his songs on the little stage in the back of the bar, his mind wasn't clear enough to decline, so he stood up and stumbled to the mic. He asked for a chair so he didn't need to stand and he refrained from taking a guitar as he was no longer able to play it anyway. His singing was awful and every customer of that bar could witness how much out of his mind Blake was slurring the words. They started to take their phones out and began filming the misery that was his try on singing. After the song was finished he stood up, wanted to leave the stage but fell over. He got up again (with help) and left the establishment.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7:

Completely wasted, Blake wandered through the streets of LA. Soon he had been stumbling for long enough to not know the way back. He couldn't find his car and his phone was dead. He tried taking an Uber but as soon as the drivers saw the state he was in, they refused to drive him. So he decided to walk. Because of his blurred vision, stumbling and almost falling over his own feet, a 10 minute walk turned into 25 minutes. 

At one o'clock he arrived at his destination, Adam Levine's house. He rang the bell, but before Adam could answer, Blake found himself puking in front of his door.

"Nice buddy, I'm happy to see you, too." Adam greeted him. 

Adam took Blake's arm over his shoulder, let him inside and shoved him into the bathroom. Blake leaned over the toilet and puked once more. After that his friend put him (with his clothes on) into the shower and let cold water pouring over his head. He made Blake a cup of coffee and got a glass of water with a few advil. 

An hour later both man sat on the couch in the living room. Adam stood up and looked at his friend. Blake held his head in his hands and and had those placed on his knees. He couldn't look the other man in the eyes.

"You okay now? That's quite a state you got yourself into today. Wanna talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about. Still the same shit but now everyone else knows." he said still slurring obviously. 

"You know I got your back, buddy but you gotta talk to your wife soon. This is getting worse every time you show up at my door. I love hanging out with you but lately it seems you're not yourself. You're grumpy, sad, quiet and don't get me started on the drinking. I know you've never been an angel in that department but this is getting out of hand. You can't just drink your days away and hope that someday somehow everything changes to the better."

"I can't talk to her. And drinking is the only thing that keeps me sane lately so I drink, get over it. It's not your problem and I don't care what others say. The media writes story's about that for years now."

"Well first of all it is my problem because somehow you always end up at my doorstep. And I'm okay with that, cause you're my best friend and I wanna help you. But you gotta give me something here, Blake. Why can't you talk to Miranda?"

"Cause once I do it's over. She knows I want children, want to start a family with her, want to spend the rest of my life with her. It hurts knowing she doesn't feel the same. Since I mentioned it she pushed me away. I worry that when I talk to her again, she realizes that she never wanted that. Not with me at least. The last 8 months we haven't had a day where this didn't came up and we ended up going to bed fighting. Something we promised each other in our vows to never do. But lately we break many of our promises."

"That's hard, I get it. And honestly I could see you as a father. But when she doesn't want a family you have to talk to her right know. Otherwise the both of you are trapped in a relationship that makes you unhappy for life. If you get out now you still have time to meet the one. And start a family with someone who really wants the same things you do. I love Miranda, you know that, and I know that no matter how much she hurts you, you love her, too. But she made you promises to keep you in her lane, that she knew from the beginning she won't keep. That's not fair to you. She played dirty and still you're the one beating yourself up every single day."

He knew Adam was right but he couldn't go through with it. Because deep down he was still holding on to the hope that one day Miranda changed her mind and would want to start a family with him. Therefore he stayed. And he didn't talk to Miranda about what tugged on his mind. 

But instead of getting closer again in time, they actually grew apart even more. 

2015 came and one day before the CMA awards in Feburary, that Blake was scheduled to co-host together with his friend Luke Bryan, he got home early from yet another unsuccessful day in the studio and found Miranda in bed with another man. Worse - another country singer. And even worse - a friend of his, Chris Young. 

He stormed out of their house. He found himself at a bar... Again. He found himself ending up completely wasted... Again. He found himself ending up at Adam's house... Again. People filmed his drinking session... Again. And every magazine or newspage on the internet reported about his lonely drinking nights confirming a major drinking problem, that Miranda isn't ready to face anymore... Again. Same old shit by a different day.

The next day they attended the CMAs together. They held hands and smiled for pictures but didn't stop for questions at the red carpet, although he was one of the most wanted people that evening considering his hosting job. 

As soon as they were inside they let go of each other and parted ways. He saw Chris Young approaching Miranda after he left and they thought he couldn't see them. Even before Luke and him opened the evening with their first little sketch and monologue, Blake got to the bar and bought 2 bottles of Vodka. After that he poured some of it in a cup and took it with him backstage so he would be able to take a sip whenever he felt he needed one. 

In the beginning his hosting was great and so was his performance of his song "doing what she likes". But as soon as the cup in his hand was empty for the first time he found himself refilling it almost every 20 minutes when he looked at his wife in the crowd. It didn't take long for the audience to notice, first they thought it was part of their next sketch but when they saw Luke's quizzed face when Blake wasn't able to talk clearly anymore, they realized he was drunk. 

When Miranda got onstage to perform one of her own songs, he didn't even try to hide his level of intoxication anymore.

"The nexs artis is a powerful woman, who knows whashe wans an has the ability ta break hearts... Mirana Lambert evrybody"

He got backstage, to get his red solo cup filled with the holy liquor, got back up on stage and sat down on the stairs. He drank more and more and started crying during her performance. When she finished her song, he needed 3 tries to stand up until Luke helped him up again, away from the cameras. She looked over to him and just the messed up sight of him let a tear escape her eyes. She knows he just ruined a lot with this evening and it is mostly her fault. If he hadn't catched her cheating he wouldn't be on his downward spiral right know. 

During the next advertisement break a producer of the show and his co-host /friend Luke Bryan came up to him and told him that they are going to continue the show without him. Luke promised to call him later and Blake wondered how he earned to have such good friends - people like Luke and Adam who have his back even when he embarassed them on live television.

Dot and Endy watched the show together back in Oklahoma. They haven't talked to Blake for a longer time now, so they wanted to catch up on him by watching their son and brother on TV. He had lost a lot of weight. When they saw what happened they were both in shock. They watched Blake breaking in front of millions of people and falling all the way down from the spot in the business and society he had worked so hard for for years. They were ultimately worried and knew that Miranda wouldn't pick up her phone because she was at the award show, too, so Dot called the only other person in LA she knew was very close to Blake. Adam.

She pleaded him to talk to her son, make him come back to Oklahoma soon to get him grounded and away from his struggles for a few days - no matter from what kind they are. She asked him if his behavior from the show became more frequent lately in private but stopped crying when Adam promised he would be there for Blake and had his back. If his manners would become problematic he would tell them and help his friend through it.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8:

When Adam got the call from Blake's mum, he was just on his way from the studio back home. When the woman on the other end of the line started crying he desperately tried to understand what she was talking about but reassured her that he'd take care of Blake anyway. Because no matter what happened or what Blake did, he really would take care of him no matter what. 

Seconds after that he got another call from a "The Voice" producer who scheduled an important meeting with Carson, coaches and the other show producers 'to discuss the situation' before the tapings for season 9 begin. He still had no idea what was going on and what was the reason for that sudden meeting considering they already talked about details two weeks ago and are still in the middle of season 8s filming. For now he was tired and just went to bed.

Meanwhile at the award show Blake got kicked out of the arena and was told he was banned from any aftershow partys. When Miranda returned from stage and overheard that conversation she followed her husband outside. She was done with the show, too worried about him to be able to follow anything that's going on inside anyway. 

He was sitting on a stair outside, still with his red solo cup in his hand. He was crying when Miranda sat down next to him. She didn't want to kick him when he was already down, but she knew the following conversation would break both of their hearts even more. He seemed to know aswell when he looked her in the eyes, drank all the liquid from his cup in one and tried to walk away. But he wasn't able to stand up from where he was sitting. He got back to his old position and lit a cigarette while sitting next to her, knowing she didn't like that habit of his at all. Why did he even care anymore? Their marriage was about over and she cheated on him - she didn't care about his feelings, why is he still caring about hers?

"Blake? Please look at me. Please? What just happened, it's my fault isn't it?"

Silence

"Okay, I understand you not wanting to talk to me but I think we should for one last time. I know you're hurting because of what I did. But... I felt lonely damnit. The last year we barely slept together or even talked to each other anymore. I could tell you wanted a family for a long time now and I felt bad for not wanting the same. But since we started fighting so much you were barely home. We never had a chance to talk about things, because you were always out drinking. You didn't come home before 2 am and when you did you were barely able to even stand and you were just home because Adam drove you back. Otherwise I wouldn't have seen you for weeks in a row. And with every day you came back that wasted, my longing for starting a family with you got less. Look I'm not trying to blame this on you but I want you to understand why I did what I did. I don't need you to like or respect it, but please understand." 

Before saying anything back he put his head on her shoulder. He cried even more than before because he knew in some ways she was right. She wasn't sure about starting a family in the beginning, but by getting drunk constantly he didn't really prove to her that he was father material. 

He finished his cigarette and blew smoke in her face when he lit a new one. After what felt like hours he finally started talking... Or slurring

"Did you ever really consider it? Starting a family with me I mean." 

"Blake...I...I loved you, I still do. But I was scared and insecure. As much as you were not really father material these last months, I am no good as a mother either. I guess for a while I hoped that when we stopped talking about it, you would let go of that topic. And I know that is selfish, but I was afraid I would lose you by confessing that to you. But look where it got us. I only made things worse and I'm sorry, Blake. I really am." 

"Well you're right in one point. You made things worse. I'll file for divorce as soon as I'm back in Oklahoma after the voice tapings and my shows in June. But I want us to live apart from each other from now on. You can have the rental, I'll find something else. I can't stand staying in that place when I know you did him in our bed. We won't attend any other awards or stuff like that as couple and don't talk about each other in interviews. Besides all that - do what and who you want...like you did anyway. I'm done. This is over but I guess you knew that already."

Now they were both crying and - probably 10 minutes too late - they noticed a guy with a camera behind a tree on the other side of the street. Probably a paparazzi, but he was too drunk to care right now. 

"Could you please leave now, Miranda. I would stand up and go but I think I am not really able to. But I can't stand looking at your face any longer without losing my shit again." he said while finishing his second cigarette. 

A last tear dropped down her face when she turned around and left. Blake continued sitting on that stair for another hour just smoking and finishing the rest of the Vodka bottles he bought earlier that evening. But screw the cup, he was drinking straight out of the bottle now. 

A SERIOUS PROBLEM - WHO'S LEFT TO SAVE BLAKE FROM HIMSELF

COUNTRY STAR EMBARESSES HIMSELF AND LUKE BRYAN AT CMA AWARDS

MARRIAGE OVER? EXCLUSIVE SNAPSHOTS FROM MIRANDA AND BLAKE'S S CONVERSATION AFTER HIS CO-HOSTING FIASKO. - MANY TEARS AND LOTS OF BOOZE

FOR HOW LONG HAD BLAKE SHELTON ALREADY BEEN STRUGGLING? LAST NIGHT'S EVENTS JUST UNDERLINED ADDICTION SUSPICIONS TABLOIDS WRITE ABOUT FOR YEARS. 

WILL MIRANDA STAY WHEN HE CAN'T KICK THE BOOZE? 

ALL OF BLAKE'S 'I'M SO DRUNK...' TWEETS - REALLY JUST HUMOR OR THE BITTER TRUTH? 

IS REHAB BLAKE'S LAST CHANCE? 

BLAKE SHELTON AND ALCOHOL - A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP. MAYBE FRIEND TRACE ADKINS CAN HELP

Those were just a few headlines the media created about him during the night for tomorrow's front pages. 

"If you guys throw him under the bus, I'm gone, too. I don't care about your contract, I pay whatever you want. You kick him out, you kick me out. And good luck finding two idiots to replace our banter - people will hate them no matter what, because they're gonna miss Blake. He is one of the main reasons your show is doing as well as it does and just because of what happened yesterday you don't back him up anymore? I can't believe this! Think about your decision and give me an answer tomorrow. Either start the show with 4 or with 2 coaches."

With that Adam left the meeting - one that by the way was about Blake but he didn't get invited to, to speak up for himself. 

Adam still didn't really know what everybody was referring to and what exactly the reason for the meeting, he just left in fury, was. But it didn't matter because Blake and Adam had always said, they wouldn't do the show without the other. And they both meant it. 

When Adam opened his Twitter time-line he was met by lots of pleas from the voice fans who obviously were very worried about Blake's wellbeing. 

'@adamlevine please help Blake with whatever he is struggling with rn' 

'You gotta help Blake, Adam! @adamlevine' 

'do something @adamlevine - you're Blake's friend, looked like he really needs one. ' 

He was so confused what all this was about, so he googled Blake and was shocked with what he looked at. All those articles and multiple videos of Blake's drunk hosting at the cma's last night appeared and Adam watched them all. And in every single one he could see the hurt in his friends eyes. 

Adam decided to call him, but Blake didn't pick up. He realized that Blake finally reached the point where he needed help and although he swore to never listen to something someone asks him to do or not to do on social media platforms, that this time he is going to do the one thing everyone keeps asking him to do. When Blake didn't answer the phone he assumed to find him at his doorstep like every other time he screwed the pooch. So he drove home to Behati and hoped to find Blake aswell.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9:

Adam had been right, Blake was sitting in front of his door this night after the award show in downtown LA yesterday. He had passed out at his door with a drink still in his hands. Adam had woken him up and helped him carry his body to the couch inside. 

The next morning they talked about Blake's wellbeing, Adam's worries, Miranda's cheating and the upcoming divirce. Adam told his friend he could sleep at his house until the divorce is finalized and he found a new place. 

On purpose Adam didn't spill the information about the producers discussing Blake's position on the show. Because even if they decided to not kick him out, he likely would be too proud to come back to a place where he knew he was doubted by many people. He feared Blake would resign from the contract on his own instead.

From February to the end of March Blake stayed at Adam's house and after the producers decided to keep Blake on the show they drove to work together every morning. During promotion videos for the new voice season Adam made sure that no questions about their personal lives were asked and told every interviewer that as soon someone adresses Blake's and Miranda's marriage in any way, he'd make sure that this person will never do an interview in his or her life ever again. 

For about two months he protected Blake from every obstacle, stayed by his side as a true friend and as good as possible reduced his drinking to the tiniest amount possible. Blake was still drinking more than others but at least he wasn't out and wasted every single night. 

After that short time Blake was scheduled to tour for 3 months and to return in early June, just before the season 8 live finale.

Blake called Adam daily because he knew Adam was the person that made all the damage control by talking him up in interviews, supporting him in private and in front of any camera. His friend was the biggest reason for why there were still so many people left who he could sing to on his current tour and although Adam never mentioned it himself, he was aware that even "The Voice" just kept him because of his friends words. Carson told him. 

To show Adam how much he appreciated him as a person, supporter and especially best friend he promised to call him after every show and don't drink for the entire tour until they see each other again.

That promise lasted about a month. Blake was touring through the United States in his tour bus together with his band. But as soon as their shows were over, every other person had kids or a wife to talk to that they missed. After time Blake realized that that person for him was not longer in his life and soon he has to answer with 'I... have been spending the holidays' instead of 'WE... have been spending the holidays'. He felt lonely and although talking to Adam really helped for some time, reality came back to him full circle when he had to go to bed alone every night. 

He started craving for a drink so bad. He never felt that feeling before and he didn't like it because he knew that feeling was an addictive tendency. He tried so hard not to give into it but he knew in the back of his mind that as soon he would drink enough he would be numb to all the negative thoughts and bad feelings he had been bottling up for a long time now. And like a relapsing alcoholic, the first time he had a drink again after a time of abstinence, he had more to drink than ever before. Just a little taste of the good stuff wasn't enough. 

He spent the whole night til the next morning drinking bottles of different types of liquor in his tour bus. That soon became a routine and it didn't take long for him to already start to drink while on stage. The hardcore country fans were loving this attitude while others were not sure this was a good idea for a person so not in control of his alcohol intake as him. The phone calls to Adam had become shorter with every day, to not be too obvious about his constant drinking again and about two weeks before his return to LA they stopped for good.

Blakes last concert for the tour was at the Pendleton Whiskey Festival. As much as he loved touring he was looking forward to returning home to Oklahoma and after that LA. But tonight... He had too much again. All his surroundings were blurred and he saw his bassist twice. Music was pounding in his ears but sounded like a thunderstorm instead of a melody. He had been singing and entertaining the people for about an hour. And had been drinking heavily for about twice as long. He could tell by the audiences reaction that the way he was moving by now wasn't so smooth anymore and the performances of his songs became worse. Without realizing what just happened he stumbled over something on stage and fell down on his back hard. Due to his form of intoxication he had trouble to stand back up again. Some people laughed, some were sad seeing their star like this and others were filming the incident. Somehow he managed to stand up again. The rest of the show was a blurr to him. So was his flight back to Oklahoma the same night.

Adam saw the videos of his friend drunkenly falling off stage during his concert online and on Twitter where many people had send him the links from YouTube. Blake had a problem. And the situation was more serious than ever before. He swore himself to be the needed help to Blake as soon as he would be back from Oklahoma in a few days.

Miranda came home from a charity concert she did, when she watched the newest videos of her (still) husband drunk on stage. Her heart broke for him even more and as much as she felt the need to help him or make sure he would get the help he needed, she knew she couldn't do anything because she was the one who had triggered the latest events. She was actually surprised that by now Blake hadn't called her out about her cheating and only filed for divorce today, 4 months after everything happened. 

Back at his ranch in Oklahoma, Blake in his typical manner made fun of his stagefall on Twitter and asked people to send him the videos. But for the first time in about a decade people didn't take his 'I'm so drunk' tweeting the funny way. Instead people were angry at him for falling apart in the limelight and not even caring about his own health although there is very obviously a serious problem.

Although he had been in Oklahoma for two entire weeks, Blake had visited his family only once. He was very uncomfortable with the way his mom and sister looked at him. He apparently had lost a lot of weight - he didn't notice himself but thinking about his diet (booze and chips) it wasn't surprising. They seemed sad when they talked to him and he was nervous being looked at with their pity eyes.

"Are you feeling okay, son? I know a divorce is not easy, especially when you thought you finally found the one. But you gotta take care of yourself. We're worried."

"I'm fine mom."

"You know I don't believe you but as long as you promise to stop drinking so much I'll accept it. We saw you on TV the other day... Baby if you had a problem you would tell us right?"

"Sure I would but it's not an issue. Just something I gotta do for a little time to get over Ran. But you know how it is, they've been writing this stuff for over a decade. I thought we talked about not taking that too serious."

"Well they can write anything they want but we saw you... Twice and stumbling like a drunken sailor. One of those times on live television. Seeing you on that path just makes us worry about you."

"Don't. Everything's fine. I gotta go now though or I'll miss my flight."

"Take care of you Blake. And I don't wanna see any more videos of you being drunk out of your mind somewhere, honey. And while we're at it - you stink - you should stop smoking so much as well, the lady's don't like that... Ah come here my big boy, we love you. And if you need anything just call."

"Bye mom, I love you, too."

He left Oklahoma and flew back to LA to attend the season 8 live Finale of The Voice.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10:

He had been back in LA for 3 days but stayed in a hotel. Due to Miranda leaving the house after he filed for divorce, he decided to have it out for sale. He was too embarrassed to face Adam again after he had literally fallen off the wagon although promising him to not to drink while touring. He knew Adam had seen the videos of his stage fall, because he'd gotten a lot of messages from him expressing his disappointment and worries. But somehow it was impossible for him to live through these past months without his steady companion that is (a WHOLE BOTTLE of) any Vodka or other alcoholic beverages. Even now that he is back, the first thing he did when he entered his hotel room was to turn the TV on and have a drink from the minibar. 

When he had to be in the studio the next day for the live Finale of season 8, was the first time since March that he saw Adam again. Blake was getting ready in his dressing room. Solo cup in his hand and already dressed for the filming was when Adam had angrily entered his trailor.   
They didn't say anything for the following minutes. Blake was sitting on the couch and Adam was standing in front of him looking down trying to make eye contact with Blake. 

"Can't you look at me anymore?" Blake's head turns to Adam and finally their eyes meet. 

"That wasn't that hard... Your eyes are all glassy. How many of those *points to the cup* have you already had today?"

"It's only the second." Blake says defensively, in a tone that's not very believable. 

But he sure as hell won't tell Adam that he had been drinking since 10 this morning, after seeing the first local TV channel catching up with his divorce and throwing the shade of blame in his direction. 

"Bullshit. You look like you haven't slept all night and then drank the whole Minibar in your freaking hotel room you're staying at, because you were too proud to come back to Behati's and mine again. So don't lie to me. How many?" 

"A few, I don't know... But why do you care, since when are you my mother. You should care about your singer, not about me."

"Shut it Blake. I know you're hurting, okay. I get it. And I saw the freaking report about your divorce this morning, too. But you know what - soon enough there will be daozen of channels having you and Miranda's split as their headline story's. What are you gonna do by then? You are already starting to drink in the early hours of the day - maybe staying on a constant buzz, so you don't have to talk about it or maybe don't even remember? You're self-destructive Blake."

"And you're an ass. Don't gimme that crap now, I..." 

"No, Blake. I'm being a friend. One that knows you good enough to have the right to tell you in your face that this has become a problem. One that worries about you not seeing what you're doing to yourself. You couldn't even stay sober for a month. And after that, have you spent one day without drinking since you started again? I doubt it... Blake I think we should do something about that and if you need professional help I'll do anything to keep that under the radar if you don't want anyone to know."

"You know what, listening to you actually made me realize that I think I haven't drank enough today. Because I can hear all that crap that I shouldn't get from a friend." Blake got up, drank all the liquid from the cup in his hand and refilled it. 

"That's where you're wrong. A friend should have the right to tell you when you fucked up and then helping you to get out of the funk again. That's what I was trying to do. But your numb to everything I say. So yeah, Blake go ahead, have another, it's not like I can already smell the alcohol on your breath from a mile away. But I can tell you one thing. I was there for you after you screwed the pooch at the award show and if you had talked to me I would have been there for you after you embarrassed yourself on that stage. But I won't defend your ass when you ruin your talents career tonight because of your intoxicated mind." Adam got to the door. 

Before leaving the room he turned around once again and said "I love you, brother." 

Blake was pissed. How was it possible that he hated that guy right now but still just for him poured his drink down the drain because he didn't want to mess up right in front of his friends eyes. He hadn't had another sip of alcohol during the entire finale. But it wasn't for his own health or, as much as he loved his contestant, for his singer. It was for Adam. To give him something so he could be proud of him... Or just not pissed for once. 

At the after show party Adam and Blake got introduced to Gwen Stefani, a judge they already knew from last season and who would come back for the upcoming one. Blake could see his feelings of hurt and anger mirrored in her eyes and noticed the lack of her wedding ring a second after shaking hands with her. When he looked in her eyes he felt like she just noticed the same thing about him. 

His artist hadn't won. However, he couldn't remember who did either. Anything that had happened last night was a blurr to him. Damn hangover. And where was he? He got up from the couch (a very big one, considering it was big enough to fit him sleeping on it) and looked around the room. Nothing about it looked familiar. He looked down on himself, he was still wearing his clothes. So he didn't just have a random sleep around with an unknown woman... 

"Oh you're awake. I didn't expect that for at least two more hours, considering the way I had to drag you in here last night."

"Gwen!?"

"You don't remember, huh." she asked him, more like a statement. She gave him a couple of Advils and a glass of water. 

"Guess you could need that. I think I have actually never seen someone drink as much as you did at the aftershow party last night. That was ridiculously much. How are you feeling?" 

"Okay I guess. Head's pounding a little, but nothing I'm not used to by now..." She looked worried. 

"Gwen, how did I get here? We didn't... Like.." 

"Oh, no. No, we... We didn't. You were just incredibly wasted, wanted to drive back to your hotel, but we obviously couldn't let you do that and you didn't remember an address so that one of us others could drive you. Adam seemed very pissed at you and Pharell had something to drink himself so I told him I could take you with me. The boys are with their father, so it's okay."

"Thank you. Very much. But I think I'm gonna go now, I got somewhere I have to be. Thank you, really. And I'm looking forward to work with you again."

"Ehhm. Sure. Bye, Blake" 

He was sick and tired of having to wake up to these hangovers every single day. And although he just got out of Gwen fucking Stefanis house because he had been too drunk again yesterday, his body already craved for a drink again. It was only 12pm and he couldn't stand that feeling. He tried to deny it for so long and don't admit it to himself but seeing he couldn't even keep the promise, not to drink and get wasted infront of Adam, that he made himself just hours before it happened, got him thinking. He hated just thinking about it. He had fucked up again. He let Adam and especially himself down. Something he promised to never do. 

He wanted to go to Adam's house and apologize, but thinking about the judging and disappointed way he'd look at him the second he would stand in his doorstep, broke Blake's inner strength. He got into the closest bar at 1pm and knocked a few back. Just to keep him sane, to make the aching in his heart and the thoughts of failure in his head disappear. But he couldn't just leave it at a few drinks. Like he described in one of his songs... If he has one - he has thirteen... A few years ago he was singing about a stranger in his song but right know he had to laugh about that because he could swear that this line pretty much described his own drinking habit. He texted Adam. 

'I'm sorry. Iwus a dick an I disappoined you. The person I am lately, ain't who I wanna be.'

He got an instant answer. 

'Come over, we'll talk.'


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11:

He hollered a cab and drove over to Adam's house. He rang the bell and waited for Adam to open up. He got overwhelmed by his feelings and the realization of what he is about to admit. 

Adam opened the door and before he could say something to his friend, the older man spoke with a tearfilled face. 

"It's repeating... every day, although I don't want it to. What can I do, Adam? I don't want this."

It was Blake's way to admit to a problem and that he needed help with something that was way bigger than him or even the two of them. Something he had no control over. 

Adam pulled him in a tight hug and when he smelled the alcohol at 3pm already on his clothes and in his breath, he rubbed Blake's back and began crying, too.

"You're seeing it and came here, it's the first step, buddy." he answered through sobs.

After they got inside they talked for hours until late at night. Blake apologized for being an ass before and told Adam that he had been right the entire time and that he was just in denial of seeing the problem. Blake admitted that since he had been drinking on tour again, there wasn't a day he spent sober and back in Oklahoma, visiting his family, he had been high and drunk on a steady level. He told him about waking up at Gwens house this morning not remembering a thing and that during the last years he had often seen videos of him being wasted somewhere, on the internet, without remembering that those things really happened or where he had been. Blake also admitted that even if Miranda cheated on him, his drinking had ruined a lot of things beforehand, too. 

It was the most honest Blake had ever been in his life and Adam listened closely to everything he had to tell. He was happy that Blake finally - hearing all those story's even from a long time ago - after all his drunken years decided to come to someone for help. But he feared it would be problematic to solve the situation without Blake going to rehab. However, that was the one condition he had when he showed up at Adam's doorstep. He only wants Adam's help and he won't go to rehab. For the moment Adam accepted his plea but he knew it was going to be hard, so he asked Blake to at least include his family so they could help, too if things got complicated. After another long discussion Blake finally agreed but wanted to tell them another day, without Adam being present. They got to bed and the next day they showed up on set together for the taping of season 9's blind auditions.

In a meeting before the filming started he told everyone that he was in the middle of a divorce and that if he'd be moody at times he was sorry. 

It was no secret, neither in the public eye nor on set, that Blake was drinking during the tapings of the show and lots of people working around him wondered if his divorce would make him drink even more. The two plastic starbucks cups in his red chair usually contained a bacardi cola or Vodka sprite. Adam knew it would be too hard for Blake to cut out the alcohol completely from one day to another. So back in one of their trailers they decided to only fill one cup with liquor and the other with actual coffee. Blake wasn't too fond of the idea but he knew he had to start somewhere and if he wanted Adam's help to get sober he had to play by his rules.

They filmed the first three episodes of blind auditions in one day and Blake was actually feeling very good. In 7 hours he had convinced a bunch of very good singers to join his team, his friendly banter with Adam was as strong and funny as ever and his vocals on the opening coaches performance on a song, once again way out of his comfort zone, had been pretty solid. 

He heard a guitar stringing the melodie to the country song 'drinkin problem' and even before the other coaches got to hear the refrain of the song they likely didn't even know, he prepared himself to be confronted with lots of stupid comments connecting the song to his persona. 

"People say I got a drinking problem. People saying that I've hit rock bottom... But I don't see it as a problem, for me it's a solution" 

During the performance the other coaches, aside from Adam, looked at him and started laughing and even some audience members were shouting his name to turn around because the song was obviously directed at him. 

Blake and Gwen both pressed their buttons seconds before the song ended. 

"Wow, do I even have a chance now that Blake turned around, too? The entire time I was thinking like - Blake probably likes that song a lot." Gwen started talking. 

Unpleasant comment no. 1...

"Yeah, I wasn't sure it wasn't like about Blake." Pharell added and the entire studio was laughing. 

Unpleasant comment no. 2...

"loosely inspired." the contestant who's name turned out to be Carter answered. 

Blake smiled shyly during this exchange of words. Adam knew his friend was feeling uncomfortable having to listen to others making fun of his drinking habits. Earlier this year Blake would have participated in this conversation and added a stupid sentence himself, but now that he admitted to having an issue, hearing other people joke about it so easily and on national television appearantly made his mood turn from happiness into insecurity within seconds. 

In the end Carter decided to join Blake's team. 

Blake was still shaken and distracted from what happened. He took his drink, stood up from his chair, shoulders hung low, head down and made his way backstage. No actual break was planned but the producers decided to take one anyway when they saw the way Blake had to get away from things for a while. Adam immediately ran after him and followed him. He found his friend outside standing with his back against a wall smoking a cigarette. The seconds ago half full cup of Vodka stood next to his friend on the ground. Now empty. 

"I could really use another one of those now, Adam. Listening to all that crap, I can't stand it." He said while exhaling smoke. 

"You've been doing so good by now. But if you don't want them to talk about that topic maybe you should consider telling them the truth, too. They are two of the people closest to you for a long time now and if you need support in the future, I have no doubt they'd give it to you."

"No, no way. I agreed to tell my mom and Endy. I'm not going to tell another person." 

"They will notice one day. A week ago you would have participated in that roast of yours. No you kept quiet and left the room. Someone will adress that, even if you don't want them to." 

"It's not going to happen, Adam, I won't tell them... Can we go back inside now, please?" 

The day went by without other incidents. When they called it a day Gwen came over to him. She said she knew he wasn't feeling good, for whatever reasons, but she was going through a divorce also and if he needed someone to talk to, she'd be there for him.

Over the following weeks they actually built a bond and talked a lot. In between breaks they met with Adam in one of their trailers. She invited him for dinner when her children weren't around, to make sure he was eating properly and healthy, because she thought he'd gotten incredibly thin compared to the last season she'd been on the show. He wasn't drinking much around her but sometimes before he left her house she could sense his nervousness and the shivering of his hands. Sometimes he even smelled like he had been drinking before coming over. He tried to hide it with perfume but she was still able to tell. Aside from their bonding the last week's, she didn't know him good enough to talk with him about it. She was worried and the time he had woken up hungover in her house and said he was used to it by now, was the first time she wanted to ask him about the drinking but she was afraid to hurt his feelings. He had been in the middle of his divorce and who was she to judge. She figured he'd get better with time like she did but obviously he had a harder time to kick the method he had used to get over his heartbreak.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12:

For her birthday on October 3rd Gwen decided to throw a party in her LA house and invite her coworkers from the voice. They had finished filming the battles 4 weeks ago and had some time off before going back to work. They haven't seen each other since then and she was anxious to see them but especially Blake again. Over the little hiatus they had texted constantly, she actually visited one of his concerts and after a night where they talked about their failed marriages and gave the other a shoulder to lean on, they've had a first kiss.

Nothing else happened but both sides could feel that the other wanted that to happen for a longer time now.

For a long time Adam had been the only person Blake told about his struggles, but last week he had the guts to call his mom and tell her what he is going through. He expected her to cry and be disappointed in him, instead her words towards him were full of support. She invited him to Oklahoma as soon as he had some time off and she told him she was proud of him to admit to his problem and tell her about it. Usually those hopeful and supportive words should have helped him and encouraged him to get better. Instead the feeling of letting his mum down settled in his head. 

He had been living with Adam and talking with him for about 3 and a half months now and also mentioned the kiss with Gwen. He really wanted to get better - more than anything - but by now his body and mind had been so used to being fueled with alcohol each day, what made it even harder for him to give it up. Especially during that last month, when lots of news magazines and TV channels made him responsible for his failing marriage, Blake had been coming home drunk or at least tipsy four times a week. Behati, Adam's wife, loved Blake but when he stumbled home in the middle of the night and woke up their baby more than once she got angry and said that Adam should consider trying to talk Blake into attending rehab - seeing that solely being there for him wasn't enough to make him stop. 

Blake and Adam both attended Gwen's party. Earlier that day they made the compromise that Blake was allowed 3 drinks and then had to switch to nonalcoholic softdrinks. Easier said than done.   
Once he had that first drink, he couldn't stop and had a few more. Adam had been not very happy about this but luckily nobody else noticed how much Blake drank that night because everyone else was drinking a lot, too. 

By the end of the night Blake and Gwen were kissing outside in her garden. Adam wanted to leave and take his friend with him but seeing that he was enjoying himself quite a lot, he just left and figured if everything went alright, his friend would have a bed for the night. 

He woke up when the sun was shining against his pounding head. He turned his head to see her on the other side of the bed. He had been drinking quite much but he could still remember the night he just spent with Gwen. He caressed a finger over her bare skin on her shoulder and was smiling when his met her opening eyes. 

"Mornin beautiful" 

"You stayed... I feared that when you couldn't remember what happened you'd leave. It's really nice waking up next to you, Cowboy." 

"How could I leave the best thing that happened to me for a long time? And by the way, I remember every second of it."

"That's good to know, I hope you liked it then. Because I'm planning to repeat this again soon." 

"Good, because I want that, too." He kissed her forehead and pulled her into a tight hug. 

"Do you want to stay for today? The boys are with their dad, we could go to the beach or just watch a bunch of movies from the couch." 

"Sure. I'd prefer to stay inside, though. It's nothing against you, but anyone seeing us outside together would only give them more stuff to write about. I had my fair share of that lately and I don't want to give them something to add to that list." 

"What do you mean you had your fair share?" 

"Well they have created storys about me hooking up with strangers or cheating on miranda with groupies and that me having an affair was one of the reasons we divorced. If they see me with you, they'd drag you into this and probably think you were one of those affairs. I'd like to avoid that."

"Okay, I understand. We'll stay here then... It's not true though, right? That you cheated on her?" 

"Hell no. I did lots of other stupid stuff to piss her off, but cheating was her department. She slept with a friend of mine after we've already had problems for about a year. I'd never cheat. That's probably the only stupid thing I'd never do." 

She smiled at him, drove a hand through his hair and gave him a kiss on his lips. He deepened it and pulled her over to him so she layed on top of him. Their kiss got wilder and soon enough they repeated their actions from last night. After that they took a shower and then spent the day together at her house. They cooked dinner together, opened a bottle of wine and both of them felt comfortable talking with the other about personal things and their feelings after their marriages ended. 

He's had quite some wine by now, otherwise he would've never had the guts to ask her the following question. 

"Gwen, what are we doing? I mean we slept together, twice, I talk with you about things not many people know about me, without even realizing it. I love spending time with you and I don't want this to stop. Is it... Like... Are we dating now or what... What are we doing?"

She was caught off guard with his question and didn't have an immediate answer. Although she really wanted them to be exclusive, she wasn't sure she could make her kids go through with it that shortly after she divorced their father. And she wasn't sure she would want to put herself through it after her heart was broken into pieces. Pieces the man right in front of her had picked up and put together again after numerous of conversations, kisses and the way he looked at her and made herself feel worthy and precious. 

"I'd like that, too, actually. But I want you to meet my children a couple of times first so they won't be surprised and caught off guard when I introduce you to them as my new boyfriend."

They made plans for him coming to dinner when the boys are home and spending a whole weekend together with her children. After dinner they kissed each other goodbye and Blake drove home. 

When he got inside Adam's house he quietly went inside the baby's room, sat down in a chair next to her bed and looked at the little girl. Adam noticed his actions, in the beginning feared his friend was drunk again and got into the wrong room, but later wondered what he did when he watched his friend just looking at his baby girl. 

"Hey, what are you doing big guy?" He whispered in Blake's direction. 

"She is beautiful, Adam" 

Adam also entered the room now and sat down in a chair next to his friend and daughter, who had a surprisingly deep sleep tonight. 

"I know she is, but what are you talking about? Have you been drinking? What you're doing and saying makes no sense." 

"No, well. I've had a few glasses of wine... with Gwen. But no DRINKING drinking. It's just... I spent the whole day with Gwen and we really talked about wanting to feel something again after our marriages and being happy again. She gets me like nobody else, you know. It's weird because I didn't expect to find someone so soon after Miranda, that I trust as much as I trust her. We talked about honestly considering to give it a shot and she wants me to meet her three boys. It's probably stupid to be so hopeful but if I don't screw this up and have a good bond to her children so she's ready to actually have a relationship with me... You know maybe this is my chance to finally be a father. A step-dad, but that's close enough."

"That's not stupid at all, man. You're just thinking about the possibility to finally fulfill your dream of a family. I think it's healthy that you're trying to move on from Ran. And if you're happy with Gwen and she's happy with you, then I'm there for you and honestly happy for the both of you."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13:

It was Wednesday. The day Blake would meet Gwen's children Kingston, Zuma and Apollo for the first time. He was eager to finally get to know them but was incredibly nervous, because if they ended up not liking him, a future relationship with Gwen was probably off the table. But he had actually a pretty good feeling this morning. He woke up at 8am made breakfast for Adam, Behati and their daughter and started reading the newspaper. One article got his attention immediately. There was a picture of him crying next to his ex wife. They were sitting outside the theater where the award show he attended last ypear took place. Next to that was another picture of a drunk him, passed out sitting in front of Adam's house. Next to that the artical began.

BLAKES LIFE "ON THE ROCKS"

DURING THE RELATIONSHIP AND LATER MARRIAGE OF COUNTRY MUSIC'S FINEST MIRANDA LAMBERT AND BLAKE SHELTON MAGAZINES OFTEN FOUND INTEREST IN GOSSIPING ABOUT INFIDELITY, HOOK UPS WITH GROUPIES AND PROBLEMS WITH THEIR TIME MANAGEMENT. 

AFTER (AS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE) BLAKE HAD BEEN DRUNK ON STAGE AS HOST OF THE CMA'S IN FEBRUARY THIS YEAR, PRESENTING THE PERFORMANCE OF THEN-WIFE MIRANDA WITH A TEARFILLED FACE AND WAS LATER SPOTTED OUTSIDE ARGUING WITH HER, RUMORS OF A RELATIONSHIP BREAK AND A DIVORCE GOT LOUD. AND ALTHOUGH AT FIRST IT LOOKED LIKE THEY'D GIVE THEIR LOVE ANOTHER TRY, 3 MONTHS AGO REPORTS ABOUT A DIVORCE CAME TRUE.

CONSIDERING BLAKE'S EMOTIONAL STATE OF MIND THAT EVENING WE BELIEVE THE MARRIAGE HAD ALREADY BEEN IN A COMPLICATED PHASE, BUT A CLOSE FRIEND AND INSIDER TOLD US NOW THAT BLAKE'S DRINKING HABIT WAS THE REASON THE PAIR GOT IN ARGUMENTS AND FIGHTS MORE OFTEN. 

"BLAKE WOULD LEAVE THE HOUSE IN THE MORNING, GO TO WORK AND AFTER THAT GO INTO A BAR AND LOOK FOR PEACE IN A BOTTLE. HAVING A FAMILY OR MAKING PLANS FOR ONE WAS IMPOSSIBLE THAT WAY. HE ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE WITH KNOWING HIS LIMIT - OR HE KNEW IT BUT JUST SIMPLY COULDN'T STOP."

THE LAST YEAR DEFINITELY WASN'T EASY FOR BLAKE SHELTON AND DURING THE YEARS IT HAS OFTEN BEEN REPORTED THAT HIS DRINKING GOT OUT OF CONTROL, OR NEVER WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT THIS TIME AROUND IT LOOKS LIKE HE ACTUALLY FINALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM. THE ONLY TIMES WHEN NEW PICTURES OF HIM GET OUT IN THE PUBLIC, IT'S WHEN HE'S SITTING AT A BAR OR LEAVING PARTIES (ALWAYS OBVIOUSLY INTOXICATED). IN ADDITION TO THAT EARLIER THIS YEAR, IN END OF MAY, SHELTON, WASTED AS HE WAS, FELL ONSTAGE DURING ONE OF HIS OWN CONCERTS. VIDEOS OF THAT WENT VIRAL AND APPEARENTLY GOT HIS FRIENDS' AND FAMILY'S ATTENTION .

IN ANOTHER PICTURE THAT WAS TAKEN MORE RECENTLY, WE CAN SEE A PASSED OUT BLAKE SITTING IN FRONT OF "THE VOICE" CO-STAR ADAM LEVINES DOOR... WITH A DRINK STILL IN HIS HAND. IT IS REPORTED THAT SINCE HIS DIVORCE FROM MIRANDA GOT PUBLIC, HE'S BEEN LIVING IN HIS FRIENDS' HOUSE BECAUSE THE OTHER MAN WAS HONESTLY WORRIED ABOUT HIS BEST BUDDY. AFTER LEVINE HAD HAD SHELTON'S BACK A COUPLE OF TIMES IN THE PAST WHEN ASKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDS' WELLBEING IN INTERVIEWS, IT'S STRANGE THAT LATELY HOWEVER, LEVINE DENIED ANY INTERVIEW REQUESTS AND REPORTEDLY BANNED INTERVIEWERS FROM ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT BLAKE'S ALCOHOL INTAKE AND DIVORCE DURING THE VOICE PROMO FOR SEASONS 8 AND 9.

"I AM NOT GOING TO CALL HIM OUT FOR ANYTHING AND I WON'T TELL YOU THE REASONS FOR OUR DIVORCE BECAUSE I STILL HAVE THE HIGHEST RESPECT FOR BLAKE AND HE DESERVES HIS PRIVACY. I DID MISTAKES ALSO, FOR SURE BUT I AM ACTUALLY WORRIED ABOUT HIM. YOU KNOW, WE'VE ALWAYS BEEN KNOWN TO BE THAT COUNTRY COUPLE, THERE WAS ALWAYS A LOT OF DRINKING AND JUST LETTING LOOSE INCLUDED. BUT LATELY I GOT THE IMPRESSION HIS DRINKING GOT WORSE AND I FEEL AWFUL, THINKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT I PERSONALLY AM ONE OF THE REASONS FOR WHAT HE'S CURRENTLY DOING TO HIMSELF. I REALLY HOPE THAT HE GETS BETTER SOON BECAUSE IT'D BE TRAGIC TO WATCH HIS CAREER BUT ESPECIALLY THIS PERSON, THE MOST HUMBLE HUMAN BEING I HAVE EVER MET, BREAK, AND LOOSE HIMSELF IN HIS DEMONS. I AM NOT SURE WHERE WE STAND AFTER OUR DIVORCE BUT IF HE NEEDS ANYTHING I'D STILL BE THERE FOR HIM." 

THOSE ARE THE WORDS FROM MIRANDA LAMBERT IN AN INTERVIEW FROM LAST WEEK AND IT LOOKS LIKE EVEN SHE FEARS THAT IF BLAKE CONTINUES ON THAT PATH HE'LL SOON DESTROY MUCH MORE THAN HIS CAREER." 

The article he just read was also published on more than one page in the internet and even the Today Show had a segment about it on air. It didn't matter where he looked, his face was about everywhere today. What he confessed to Adam in a weak moment in his life and was supposed to stay just between the two of them, was now out in the world, free to know for everybody. Now that everybody knew, where was the point of hiding it any longer? A big reason of his goal to become sober was so that his reputation couldn't be harmed any further in case he did something stupid under the influence again. But now that everyone knew, they probably expected him to. 

He had been sober for the last 6 days, since he had last seen Gwen, which was probably a record for him since he "fell of the wagon" back in March. But now all bets were off, he just wanted to forget for a while, what a loser he was, how many people he had let down during the last year, how crappy his life had been since he lost Miranda and how ridiculous it was that he actually thought HE could be in a relationship with GWEN STEFANI. 

It wasn't even mid-day and he was slightly intoxicated by now. 60 minutes ago he had left the house and went to a familiar bar. He was so drunk already he didn't know why he came here in the first place but the feeling to be free from everything for just some time was a satisfying one. And he realized after 6 days of not experiencing it, he had missed it. He spend 3 more hours and the bar. When he went outside, a guy with a camera came at him and shot a couple of pictures. Blake flipped the guy of because he knew what it would look like. He was leaving a bar... Again and he was more than just drunk... Again. It was not close to evening and what nobody beside him knew was that later the day at 6pm he still had a dinner date with Gwen and her sons. He didn't now where to go now. It was only 3pm and if he came home to Adam like this he would have to admit that his streek of almost a week of sobriety had ended today. Adam had said multiple times that he was proud of him but now he didn't want to disappoint his friend again. So he got in his car to think about what to do next but shortly after fell asleep. 

He awoke at 6pm and felt bad because now he was already late and he still had to drive to Gwens house. 

Even after his about two hours of sleep in the car he was still more than tipsy, but he decided to drive anyway. When he arrived at Gwen's house, he got the bottle of wine he bought for her a day ago out of his car, slowly stumbled to her front door and rang the bell. 

He looked disheveled. When she opened that door and was nervous but happily anxious about introducing him to her children, she was shocked. His face was red and puffy, his eyes glassy and bloodshot and his breath and clothes smelled like straight alcohol. He must have seen the angry look in her eyes because shyly his eyes and whole head were pointed to the ground to avoid hers. 

Instead of letting him in, she took a step outside and closed the door behind her. There was no way he's going to meet her children like that. 

"Are you crazy? You are so drunk, do you honestly think you can meet them like that and..." Her eyes caught sight of his car keys. 

"Did you drive here?" He just nodded without saying anything. 

"What is the matter with you, Blake you could have hurt yourself or someone else... I thought we were both sure we wanted this. What are you doing coming over here wasted, my boys are in there. That's so irresponsible of you. No way you'll join us for dinner like this. I'm calling Adam to pick you up." 

"No, Gwen don call Adam, he's gonna be pissed."

"Well he's not the only one."


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14:

"Really Gwen, I'm not s drunk as ya think I am, we can still..." 

"Hey mom, are you coming... Oh. Who is that?" Gwen was overwhelmed with all her feelings and didn't answer right away. 

"Hi I'm Blake, I'm from your moms work." 

He got on his knees to say hi to the boy who said his name was Kingston and shook his hand. So it's the oldest of her children he thought, must be about 9 years old. 

"Hello Blake, I'm Kingston but call me King." he said to the older man and pulled him in a hug instead of shaking his hand. 

"We don't do that *points to the hand* around here... Hey you have the same perfume as my dad." Gwen looked quite uncomfortable now. 

"I'm not wearin' any perf..." he looked quizzed at Gwens eyes until he understood what it meant. 

"Ehmm I'm not wearin' any... fancy perfume. Probably same as evry third guy in the city."

"Yeah, ehmm Blake was about to leave King, go back inside I'll be right with you." After that Kingston said his goodbyes and got back inside. 

"Blake, we won't do this now when your drunk. I... I'm sorry to say it like this but I didn't leave my husband to get my kids away from one alcoholic to drag them with me into a relationship with another guy with the same problem. You are a good guy, you really are one of the good ones. And I know about your struggles, have from day one, because I have been through this for long enough and stood on the side lines. You know that Adam has your back, right, let him help you. I'd love to spent as much time as possible with you... When you're sober. I have been doing this with my ex-husband and it was hard to see him develop into someone so different than from who he truly was without being able to properly change something about it. I can't watch let the alcohol do the same thing to you, too. You're too smart for this, Blake. Please consider seeking help." 

She was crying by now and gave him a kiss on his cheek before she got back inside. 

Blake was standing in front of her door stunned for at least another minute. Everything she just told him was on the one hand so embarrassing and felt like she just ripped his heart out of his chest and on the other hand she just told him passively that she cared a lot about him. But still, she just broke him a little more and pushed him over the edge. After Luke and Adam - he had let her down now, too. 

The following month was like a blurr to him, he didn't see Gwen anymore aside from the studio, but even then, most of the times he had been so drunk or still so hungover she didn't want to talk to him when he was like that. And on camera she made annoyed comments about his drinking, that people laughed about because they thaught it was just funny, but he could tell she was truly angry at him and sad about what he was currently doing with his life. 

Blake was back to drowning himself in alcohol of any kind, spending whole days chasing oblivion, sleeping in hotels to not face Adam and get up to leave in the morning without remembering anything from what happened the day before. And he didn't even make a secret out of it. Every day Blake posted a picture of himself, obviously drunk doing something stupid or tweeting messages with many misspellings or with the beginning "I'm so drunk right now...". 

He was continuing with this behavior until the end of the year. On new years eve he had too much. He had been out partying when a stranger found his cold body laying in front of a bar. He had alcohol poisening and was brought into a hospital. As to the fact Miranda was still his emergency contact, doctors called her, she called Adam and he called Gwen. 

They were standing in the waiting room when Miranda cryed, leaned against Adam, put her head against his chest and begged him to help Blake. 

"Please, Adam, you gotta help him. If he goes on with this he'll kill himself one day." 

Gwen just entered the room when she heard Miranda's beggs. Miranda turned her head and walked up to her. 

"And you Gwen, Adam told me about your connection with Blake. Say or do whatever it takes to get him accept the help. I don't care that you're his new girlfriend or something like that, no I would be happy for you if it weren't for... this. I wasn't enough to make him stop... But from what I've heard, for you he would." 

With that Miranda left the hospital. Gwen stood next to Adam. They looked each other in the eyes, both with a saddened expression. After a long time of silence Adam spoke. 

"She's right, you know. I may be his best friend and I may have been the first and only person he really told about this but if there's one thing, one person that's worth enough for him to get help and really try to get healthy... It's you, Gwen. He pictured himself with you and your boys as family. And you did the right thing for yourself a month ago... He told me. But when you told him you won't see each other no more, it broke him. Your words broke him. And I think the only person that had the power to break him, is also the only person that has the power to fix him." 

Adam, too left the hospital. Gwen asked a doctor where Blake's room was. He was asleep when she entered but he looked so calm, like in a state of peace and without worry or anger in his face. A state she's never seen him in before. And although he was wearing the hospital robe and had tubes in his arms, he still looked very handsome. She sat in a chair beside his bed and waited for him to wake up. He didn't. So soon enough she was tired. After calling her brother and asking him to keep the kids for the weekend she spent the night next to his bed. She fell asleep in the chair holding his hand. 

When she woke up the next morning two exhausted but beautiful ocean blue eyes looked at her. But as soon as she looked at them, he looked away again. Their hands were still intertwined and he crossed his fingers through hers. 

"How long have you been awake already, why didn't you wake me?" 

"Bout two hours. But you looked like you could use the sleep, so I let you." 

She smiled. "Speaking of, how do you feel, sleeping beauty? Quite a mess you made, lot's of people were worried about you." 

"You surely weren't. You didn't even look at me the last month. But I'm fine now, I guess." 

"I am sorry, Blake. I apologize for not being there for you, but I promise it won't happen again." 

"What do you mean? What are YOU apologizing for? " 

"It means I'm helping you getting sober once and for all... I had been thinking about me and my children when you stood drunk in front of my door. I was scared for them because I'm a mother first and foremost. But I also made a mistake. You are not him, you're not Gavin but still I compared him with you. He was always aggressive and mean but still I gave him my time and help to get better... And he wasted it, didn't deserve or earn it. You on the other hand should have deserved my support, but I had been too scared to offer it to you. I pushed you away and that was wrong." 

"You did what was right for you and your children. Like you said - you're a mother first and foremost. Kingston shouldn't have seen me drunk, I shouldn't have showed up at your door intoxicated. Right in that moment I didn't earn your support. You were right to send we again, I don't earn your support either." 

"Okay, step one, stop being so self-destructive and start seeing the good things everyone else sees in you. Step two, you move out of Adam's house and move in with us. After you've been sober for a week, we'll get you into rehab. And before you say something, look where you are right now, yes that step is necessary. I know you don't like that but it's your only option to get healthy... And I need a healthy partner by my side to take care of three incredibly energetic kids." 

While saying that last sentence she put her arms around his neck, drove one hand through his curly hair and kissed him on the cheek. 

"Are you sure?! You want me around your children, Gwen I'm not really father material." 

"Yes I am sure. But I need you to be sober and I'll help you with that. Besides, Adam said you'd make a great step-dad and from what I've seen, you interacting with his little baby girl on set, I agree." 

He closed his eyes, a tear escaped. He looked her in the eyes again. She could tell he was afraid but still he looked determined. 

She smiled at him and they kissed. 

"Okay. I'll go. I really wanna get sober, for you and the boys."


End file.
